Sparks
by MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld
Summary: American Muggle AU where firefighter James rescues exhausted law student Lily from an apartment fire. Somewhat angsty with a happy ending.
1. The Rescue

Chapter 1: The Rescue

The alarm clock sounded so shrill. So. Damned. Shrill. And Lily was so _tired_. Was it really morning already? She'd been in such a deep sleep, and she was still exhausted. Her last two law school exams of the semester had taken up her morning, and her bartending job had taken up her whole evening, and she had really been looking forward to sleeping in a bit after all that.

Come to think of it, why _was_ her alarm going off? She was sure she hadn't set it, given the aforementioned plan to sleep late. And why would she have picked such a terrible, screechy alarm, anyway?

Lily took a deep breath, the precursor to a groan, as she prepared to force herself out of the bed – and she immediately started coughing. Her eyes flew open.

The room was dark with smoke.

"Shit!" she choked out, and scrambled up from the couch. The couch in the living room, not her bed, because she had fallen asleep while reheating some Jamaican beef patties after work. And it wasn't morning, and the sound she was hearing wasn't her alarm clock. It was the smoke detector.

 _Smoke_. Lily froze in place. Suddenly she was nine years old again, standing outside in her pajamas next to her sister, watching her grandparents' house burn. Waiting for her family to join them at the agreed upon emergency meeting spot by the oak tree out front. Waiting still as Petunia ran next door and got the neighbors to call 911. Waiting as the screams of sirens filled the air, as the firemen arrived and declared the house too far under to save, as someone saw her and Tuney and herded them farther away, to safety.

Lily never saw her mother or grandparents again.

Her eyes stung and watered, whether from the smoke or the memories she couldn't be sure. She pushed her feelings aside and looked around the room. The living room of her Harlem apartment, _not_ her grandparents' house. It was different, she told herself. She was an adult now, and besides. There was no one to get left behind this time.

No one except Buttercup.

The thought of her cat propelled Lily into action. "Buttercup!" she shrieked and started coughing again. She glanced around the living room, hoping Buttercup was nearby, but she didn't see the little yellow-orange tabby anywhere. "Buttercup, come here, kitty!"

The cat's favorite perch was on top of the refrigerator. Lily hurried into the short hallway that led from the living room to the rest of the apartment, dropping to her hands and knees as the smoke thickened. "Buttercup!" she called again, but the word came out in a gasp. Tears slid down her face, and she tried to tug the front of her camisole up over her nose and mouth to help her breathe. She turned her head towards the kitchen and let out a choked sob.

Heavy black smoke filled the tiny room, and through the darkness Lily could see her toaster oven, aflame like some burning symbol from the Bible. And that wasn't all. The flames had spread from their original source, devouring the curtains over the kitchen sink, licking at the sides of the fridge, curling the edges of the calendar she kept there.

Lily kept moving, refusing to give a moment's consideration to the possibility that Buttercup was still in that kitchen. The cat was probably in the bedroom, shredding important Property Law notes or asleep in a pile of fresh laundry, or any other cat-like nuisance that Lily would never complain about ever again, so long as Buttercup was all right.

 _Please, let her be all right._

There was a loud banging and some yelling at her front door, and Lily paused in her army-crawl for a second. Neighbors had probably heard the alarm, or smelled the smoke, and were checking to see if she was okay. Maybe they'd even called the Fire Department. But they'd have to wait. She had to get to her cat.

There was a crash behind her, and the door to her apartment splintered. A masculine voice yelled, "Shit! I've got the girl!" but Lily barely noticed.

That is, until strong arms caught her around the waist and hauled her backwards.

"Let go! My cat!"

"Miss, you can't go in there," an authoritative deep voice said. Its owner had a secure grip on Lily as he dragged her back towards the living room, further away from her only chance to look for her four-legged roommate.

"Buttercup!" Lily screamed, flailing against her rescuer's grasp. She coughed and started sobbing. "Buttercup! Here kitty, please—"

The muscular arms wrapped around Lily and picked her up like a baby, pulling her tight against a broad chest. Still, she continued to try to break free. "My cat," she wailed. "Please, we have to get her." She coughed again.

"I gotta get you outta here, Miss," the fireman said in a thick south-Bronx accent. "But I promise we'll look for your cat."

Lily glanced up at her rescuer's face, or at least what she could see of it beneath the soot stains and his fireman's helmet. He had a square jaw and full lips, and eyes that gleamed like opals under thick, dark brows.

 _Opals?_ Lily's thoughts were disjointed. She was suddenly surprisingly aware of how little clothing she was wearing. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, staring up at him. "Thank you."

"Of course, Miss," he replied, his voice a low rumble. His gaze flickered to her lips, then back to her eyes before he turned and began walking toward the front of the apartment. "Nothing to be sorry for." He stepped aside as two other firemen entered the living room dragging a heavy hose. A man with dark, wavy hair peeking out from under his helmet directed them towards the kitchen, then hurried over to the fireman holding Lily.

"Sirius, take her outside." Lily's rescuer shoved her into the arms of the other man, who had piercing gray eyes and cheekbones that could cut glass. "I'm going to sweep for animals."

"Got her," Gray-Eyes – _Sirius, apparently_ – said with a quick nod to his colleague. Then he glanced at Lily and said more gently, "Let's get you outta here." He turned to the side and eased them out of her apartment with unexpected grace.

Lily was marveling at his fluid movements, wondering if she was actually still sleeping and this was all a dream, when she realized the second-floor hallway was nearly as smoky as her apartment. "My neighbors," she wheezed, jerking her head up from where it had fallen to rest against Sirius' shoulder. She looked around – suddenly, finally – appropriately terrified. "We've got to warn them!"

"Yes, ma'am, we're getting everyone out. Don't you worry." Sirius started down the stairs on quick, sure feet, carrying her as though she weighed nothing.

"Okay," Lily whispered anxiously. "And what about my cat?"

"Potter's looking for her now, ma'am. If she's in there, he'll get her." His voice was calm, reassuring, but Lily's heart was racing.

"I shouldn't have left her. I never should have—" Lily inhaled sharply, willing herself not to start crying again. But she couldn't get enough air. She gasped again and started taking short, shallow breaths, her eyes wide with panic. "I can't—I can't breathe."

"You're hyperventilating, ma'am. Breathe through your nose and try to hold your breath, we're almost—"

And then Lily passed out.


	2. Incidental Contacts

Chapter 2: Incidental Contacts

Lily's eyes fluttered open, and she groaned. She felt like she had a vicious hangover – head pounding, lips dry and cracked, throat like the desert. There was an oxygen mask covering the lower half of her face, and a machine to her left was beeping boredly in her ear. Beyond that, she could hear nurses chattering, someone retching, and the whirring and clicking of God-knows-what type of medical equipment doing its best to keep patients alive.

"Lily! Oh, thank God, love," a familiar voice murmured. The speaker grabbed her hand and kissed her palm, and she turned to face him, squinting against the fluorescent hospital lights.

"Remus," she croaked, her brow crinkled in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"Apparently you've listed me as your emergency contact in your phone." He smiled, but it looked so worried. He smoothed her hair back from her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been eating sand," Lily rasped. She sat up quickly, pulling the oxygen mask from her mouth. "Buttercup! Is she all right? Did they get her?"

"I…I don't know." Remus frowned and placed a hand on Lily's shoulder, urging her back to the bed. "They didn't mention her when they called me. I hardly got any information, just hurried straight here."

Lily's eyes burned, but she didn't seem to have any tears left. She fell back against her cot with a sniff. "I left her," she whispered, defeated. "I left her, and now I don't even know—"

"Shh, love," Remus interrupted, his tone soothing. "Don't worry about that right now, all right? Just tell me what happened."

"It's all so blurry," Lily said softly. "I guess I fell asleep making dinner, and when I woke up my apartment was on fire. And I started having …flashbacks, I guess. It was so scary." She swallowed hard, and Remus squeezed her hand. "But I was trying to get Buttercup, and then these two, like, _beautiful_ firemen grabbed me and carried me outside. They said they'd get her. And I remember thinking— _this is so weird, why would I notice how hot they are while my house is burning down and my cat is missing_. And then I don't remember anything after that."

Remus closed his eyes and sighed with relief. "I'm just glad you're all right," he said, still clutching Lily's hand. "When I heard you'd been in a fire, I nearly lost it."

"I'm okay. It sort of feels like a dream." Lily noticed for the first time the IV in her left arm and the paper-thin hospital gown she was wearing. She wet her chapped lips and looked at Remus with puzzled eyes. "I don't even know how I got here. Or whether the gorgeous firemen I remember were real, or some sort of… _hallucination_ triggered by the trauma. Like, I'm so used to taking care of myself, and then when I need it most, I get this fairy tale rescue?" She shook her head. "My life's never been a fairy tale."

As if on cue, Sirius pulled the privacy curtain partially open and poked his head into her makeshift hospital room. Lily gasped, and Remus started in surprise. "Nope, not a fairy tale!" Sirius announced cheerfully. "But two _gorgeous_ firemen, at your service." He paused and added, "Mind if we come in?"

"No, of course not," Lily said, still too confused to be embarrassed he'd overheard her. She rubbed her forehead and asked, "You're—did you bring me here?"

"No, that would be the ambulance," Sirius said, flashing her a quick smile before he glanced over his shoulder and shouted, "James!"

A moment later the other fireman, Lily's first rescuer, appeared behind Sirius and pushed his way through the curtain.

And Lily's heart stuttered in her chest.

He was even better-looking than she'd remembered. Both he and Sirius were still in their protective trousers and suspenders, but they had removed their outer jackets, revealing the tight, navy blue FDNY t-shirts they wore under their uniforms. James' chest was as broad as Lily had thought it was, and his biceps and shoulders made clear he was no stranger to the gym.

His angular jawline gave his face a certain intensity, and without the soot-stains Lily could see he had golden-brown skin and the full, soft lips she'd first noticed when he'd cradled her in his arms. His black hair looked shiny and soft, just long enough on top that she could see dense curls there. And she could understand now why she'd compared his eyes to semi-precious gems – in the harsh light of the ER, they were iridescent. First green, then gold, then copper, changing with each step he took towards her.

Even with his eyebrows drawn together in a worried frown, James was exceptionally handsome. And then his expression smoothed itself into an easy smile, one corner of his mouth a little higher than the other, displaying a row of even white teeth, and Lily's heart stopped stuttering and started beating so fast she worried one of the monitors around her would send up an alarm.

"Ah," he said, coming to a stop on the side of her bed not occupied by Remus, " _la leona's_ awake."

"Lily-ona?" Remus said, butchering the Spanish and yet somehow making it sound musical with his Northern Irish accent.

"It's just Lily," Lily mumbled, blushing. "Lily Evans."

"Lily Evans," James repeated, still smiling. "I know. But I'm callin' you _la leona_." He put extra emphasis on the last two words, then explained, "It means lioness in Spanish. It fits you, you know? You got that wild red hair, and you're crazy brave—"

"Or just plain crazy," Sirius interrupted, winking at her.

"—tryna crawl back into a burning apartment to rescue your cat. Your cub," James finished. "Like a mama lion."

Remus, who had been gawking at the two firemen as they spoke, turned back to Lily in alarm. "Is that what you did?"

"Maybe," Lily said stubbornly. She glared at Remus as though daring him to scold her, then lifted her chin and gestured at James. "Listen to the fireman. _He_ said I was brave."

"And crazy," Sirius reminded her.

James' eyes sparkled as he laughed. "Hey, watch it. Don't insult my…" he blinked and glanced from Lily to Remus, his lips twitching with held-in words. "New friend," he finished quickly, offering them a half-smile. He nodded at Remus and added, "My bad, bruh, we haven't been introduced. James Potter."

"And I'm Sirius," Sirius said, extending a hand across Lily's body.

"Remus," Remus said, shaking Sirius' hand and nodding at James. He looked bewildered. "I'm sorry, I'm still not sure I follow. You're saying Lily tried to go _back_ into her apartment…" his voice trailed off for a moment, then a look of understanding crossed his face. "To save Buttercup. Of course she did. Of _course_ you did," he repeated, turning an accusing glare on Lily.

"I couldn't leave her behind," Lily whispered, her lip trembling. Her eyes were wet again as she blinked up at James. "Did you find her? Is she okay?"

"Oh, I thought you knew!" James' face lit up. "We got her, she's fine! Had to be treated for a little smoke inhalation, like her mama—" he reached out and patted Lily's shoulder "—but she'll be like new by morning. I had my friend Frank take her back to the station."

Lily's smile was bright as sunshine, even as a shiver coursed through her body at James' touch. "Oh, my God! Thank you so much! I feel so much better." She reached out, intending to – what? Grab James' hands in a show of gratitude? Throw her arms around his waist? Run her fingers over the clearly defined muscles of his chest?

No, not that last one, probably.

In her moment of hesitation, Remus took the decision out of her hands. "Brilliant," he said, wrapping Lily in a hug. She hugged him back tightly, even though his wasn't the body she wanted against hers at that moment. "And you'll come stay at mine until your place gets sorted."

"Thank you," Lily murmured. She met James' eyes over Remus' shoulder and noticed he was frowning. She slowly pulled away from Remus' embrace and leaned back against her pillows.

James dropped his eyes, and when he looked up again, his features had relaxed into an expression Lily couldn't read. He clapped his hands together, a little too loudly, and shrugged. "Well, we should get outta here."

"Oh, you don't have to," she said quickly. "I mean, unless of course you need to—"

"No, you need to rest," he said firmly. "And you should put that mask back on. You inhaled a lot of smoke."

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I just want to get out of here and see my kitty and then sleep for, like, twenty-four hours."

"Well, you better let that dream go, 'cause the only part that's happening tonight is the sleep," Sirius teased, but his smile was kind. He gave Lily a mock salute and nodded at Remus before turning to leave, calling over his shoulder, "Good to meet you! Stay out of trouble, okay?"

Lily laughed, but it turned into a hacking cough, which is how she discovered coughing hurt her chest, and her throat, and her abdomen. After a figurative eternity, she finished coughing and fell back on her pillow, exhausted from the endeavor.

"I guess I do need that oxygen," she mumbled.

"Mmhmm," James said, in an _I-told-you-so_ tone. He reached over and slipped the oxygen mask back into place, tucking her hair behind her ears as he did so. "There," he said softly.

Lily stared into his hazel eyes, unable – or maybe just unwilling – to tear her gaze away from his. Her cheeks and ears were on fire where he'd touched them. And her neck, though he hadn't touched that. Come to think of it, her whole body was burning up.

It felt kind of nice.

"Thank you," Remus said brightly, scattering Lily's fuzzy thoughts like dandelion seeds in the wind. She flinched, and James jerked his eyes away from hers and over to her friend. Remus smiled at him. "She's stubborn, as you can see."

"Shut up," Lily mumbled, swatting half-heartedly at Remus' hand. She turned back to James, hoping to reignite the spark she was sure had flickered between them. But his eyes, eyes that had drawn her in with their warmth and intensity just a moment ago, were cool now.

She tried to hide her disappointment. "Thank you for rescuing me," she said sincerely. "And Buttercup. And thank you for coming here."

"Anytime, Miss." James' voice was stiff, but his lips tilted up in a crooked smile as he added, "It's not every day a man gets to see a lioness up close."

...

AN: Thanks for reading, and I hope you're enjoying so far! Please leave comments, feedback, keyboard smashes, whatever - it's all appreciated :-)


	3. Fragile Feelings

Chapter 3: Fragile Feelings

"Why's there a freakin' cat on the weight bench?" Peter whined at no one in particular. Buttercup cocked her head in his direction, then continued surveying her new kingdom. "Shoo! Get outta here!" Peter flapped his arms at the tawny tabby, then abruptly snatched his hand away.

"Ouch! The bitch scratched me." He shook his head and grumbled, "I hate cats."

"Probably 'cause he looks so much like a rat," Sirius muttered, and James chuckled.

"She's with me, Pete," he explained, walking over to where different-sized barbells were lined up on the gym floor. He selected a bar stacked with 250 pounds of weight and lifted it to his shoulders with a grunt. "Rescued her from that apartment fire on Wednesday and haven't got her back to her owner yet."

"Oh, yeah?" Peter's eyebrows shot up with sudden interest. "She belongs to that cute redhead?"

Peter had been outside the building, manning the truck with a few other guys, when Sirius strode through the main entrance with an unconscious Lily in his arms. Sirius had transferred her to the EMTs and was heading back inside when James had come running out of the building cradling a yowling yellow cat.

Something in Peter's tone made James pause in his workout. "Her name's Lily," he said firmly. "And yeah, Buttercup's hers."

"I thought she was _leona_ ," Sirius said, waggling his eyebrows at James in the gym's mirror. He motioned for James to resume lifting, and James huffed out an irritated breath, his face heating up in a way that had nothing to do with exercise.

"Shut up," he growled. Even though he knew Sirius was (mostly) teasing, he was keenly aware that he had, in fact, been thinking of Lily Evans as _la leona_ in his head. That among myriad other, less appropriate thoughts.

Hell, he'd almost referred to her as _his girl_ when they'd visited her at the hospital. What was that about? Just because she was possibly the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, with green eyes as wide as any Disney princess, and a pretty mouth with imminently kissable, heart-shaped lips, or because her body was soft but her thighs looked like they could crack coconuts, and she happened to fit perfectly in his arms, didn't mean he could just walk in and lay claim to her like some sort of sixteenth-century European explorer "discovering" the Caribbean.

Right?

 _Right._

James closed his eyes for a moment, willing himself to focus on his squats.

"That girl was _fine_ ," Peter drawled. "Gotta love it when they don't have time to put on real clothes. She had great legs."

"Yo, show some respect," James snapped, standing up quickly and releasing the weights with less control than he would've liked. "She just lost her house."

Sure, he'd been thinking about her legs only seconds ago, but he would never talk about her the way Peter was doing. And he would definitely never make jokes about someone who had recently been through a fire. What kind of low-life did _that_?

As if to cement his low-life status, Peter rolled his eyes. "Whatever, bro. I'm just saying what we're all thinking."

James scowled, but Sirius let out a low chuckle. "Count on Pettigrew to keep it classy," he said, shaking his head. He raised his eyebrow at James as he took his position in front of the weights. "Spot me on these squats?"

Glad for any excuse to ignore Peter, James obliged. But Pete wasn't finished.

"Seriously," he said, meeting James' eyes in the mirror, "if that's what she wears to bed, I wouldn't mind making a house call, know what I mean?" He laughed an ugly laugh.

James' vision went red, and abandoned his role as Sirius's spotter, moving towards Peter with his fists clenched.

Fortunately (depending on who you ask), before he got anywhere near Peter's exceedingly punchable face, Lieutenant Shacklebolt's voice came blaring over the PA system: "Attention! James Potter, report to the bay doors. You've got a visitor. Repeat, Potter to the bay doors."

"Go on," Sirius said, lowering the weights and rolling his neck. "I'm done in here, anyway." He put a hand on James' back with enough pressure to turn him away from Peter and towards the door.

James snorted, but he let Sirius guide him out of the gym. He toweled off and tried to rein in his temper before making his way to the front of the fire station to greet his visitor.

And then he saw Lily, chatting with Frank, and suddenly it was like everything was happening in slow motion.

She was wearing a dark wool coat that stopped just above her knees and brown leather boots that stopped just below them, and James hadn't known knees could be sexy, but, well, now he did. She set down the cat carrier she was holding and tugged a gray hat off her head, then shook out her thick, tousled red hair, and that was sexy, too. Her cheeks were pink, whether from the cold or excitement James' couldn't be sure, and her eyes were shining as she beamed at something Frank said.

James really wanted to be the one receiving that look.

But he bit back his ridiculous envy and smiled as he approached them.

" _La leona_ returns for her cub," he said, resisting the urge to wrap her in a hug. It would be too familiar, no matter how much he wanted to feel her body against his again. This time without the threat of being burned alive.

Lily laughed a bright, happy laugh, and James' chest swelled with pride. "Maybe I should be calling _you_ the lion, you're the brave one," she said, an admiring smile on her face. "Thank you for saving her."

 _I'd lead a rescue mission to actual Hell, if it would make you smile like that_ , James thought. But he just grinned and said, "It's my job."

"And now they're best friends. He takes her everywhere," Frank teased. "He was probably hoping you wouldn't show up so he could keep her."

"Oh, really?" Lily said. She put a hand on her hip, eyes twinkling. "Are you trying to steal my cat?"

James flashed his teeth at her as he shook his head. "Hell nah. I've seen how protective you are of her," he declared. "I'm not gettin' between you and your cub. Actually, if I knew you were here, I'd have brought her down. I know you can't wait to see her."

"Yeah," Lily said, and she bounced on her toes a little. "I know she's fine, but I need to hold her myself, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it." He turned back towards the gym. "Lemme go get her."

Frank glanced between James and Lily with a knowing smirk and put a hand on James' shoulder. "I'll do it, Potter. You stay here."

"Bet. 'Preciate it," James said, grinning at his friend. But the smile faded, replaced by a more intense expression, when he caught Lily staring at him. Like she trying to etch every detail of his face into her memory.

Or maybe like he had something stuck in his teeth. _Shit_.

James took a deep breath. He hadn't eaten in hours; his teeth were probably fine. Still, he ran a nervous hand through his curls, only to find they were damp with sweat and probably sticking up in every direction. It suddenly occurred to him he might look and smell terrible.

It was bizarre, this insecurity he was feeling. He was generally more than satisfied with the way he looked, and he was pretty confident – some would say cocky – in his ability to impress women. And yet, here he was, unraveling under a pretty girl's gaze.

 _Get your shit together_ , he ordered himself, lifting his chin in a way he hoped looked self-assured. Eyebrows raised and a smirk on his lips, he asked, "Why you sweatin' me, Evans?"

Lily recognized his teasing for what it was, and she giggled. She blinked as if breaking free from a trance, then wet her lips with the tip of her tongue before she spoke. "I'm not, _Potter_. I just didn't know you wear glasses."

"Oh." James ignored the distraction presented by Lily's tongue and pulled his glasses off his face, reflexively polishing them on the edge of his t-shirt. "Yeah, sometimes. I've got contacts, but I hate them." He held the glasses out to her, like an idiot.

She chuckled as she took them, probably because she hadn't asked for them and had no use for them herself. But then she reached up like it was the most natural thing in the world and slid the earpieces over his ears, nearly mirroring what James had done with her oxygen mask in the hospital. She gave him a nod and a small smile as she settled the black frames back into place.

"I like them. They fit your face."

She was less than an arm's length away. If he just reached out, James could grab her hand, or stroke her hair, or—

"Here she is!" Frank announced cheerfully, and Lily whirled away from James, blushing. James mentally cursed his friend's timing, but his irritation melted away as Lily's face lit up again at the sight of her cat.

"Oh, thank you!" she cried, taking Buttercup from Frank's arms. "There you are, my sweet girl," she crooned. She buried her face in the cat's orangey fur and whispered, "I'm so glad to have you back."

"I think she missed you," James said, just to say something.

"Maybe," Lily murmured, her cheek still pressed against Buttercup's head. "But it sounds like you took good care of her. You don't understand how grateful I am."

James shrugged, his mouth curving up in a half-smile. "Since you were crawling through a burning building to get her back, I think I can guess."

"Still," she said earnestly, "I want to thank you. You have to come over for dinner."

"Aw, you don't have to do that," he said, even as everything inside him demanded he take her up on her offer. But he didn't want her to ask him out of a sense of obligation. He wanted it to mean something more than that. "I was just doing my job. I'm just glad you're both okay, honestly."

"No, I insist." She looked up at him through her eyelashes, her smile mischievous. "And in case you were worried, Remus will be doing the cooking, so there's no risk of me setting the kitchen on fire."

The words hit James like a bucket of cold water to the face. He blinked and ran a hand over his jaw, composing himself, before he asked, "Remus?"

"Yeah." Lily's brow furrowed. "You met him at the hospital, remember? I'm staying with him. And he's happy to do it," she rushed on. "He's so grateful, too. That you saved me from myself, I mean." She laughed awkwardly.

"Right." James dragged his hand through his hair again.

"So, please, take this." She cradled Buttercup in one arm and dug in her coat pocket with the other, eventually producing a small red envelope. "Here. Your invitation."

James reached out, his fingers brushing Lily's as she passed him the envelope. He didn't think he imagined the spark he felt when they touched – his heart skipped a beat, and he heard her breath catch – but he ignored it. "Invitation, huh? So formal."

Lily's cheeks flushed pink. "I just like handwriting cards. Nobody sends cards anymore, you know? Not with, like, personal messages inside." She shrugged, seemingly embarrassed. "My mom used to do it, and I've always thought it was nice."

"It is." James smiled reassuringly. He turned the envelope over in his hands gently, as though he thought it were either very fragile or very dangerous.

Most likely both.

"Good." Lily gave him that sunshine smile, but then turned away and busied herself with putting Buttercup into her cat carrier. "So, next Saturday?" she asked, barely sparing him another glance. "The address is on the card. Oh, and Sirius is invited, too. Remus and I want to thank you both."

"Sure, okay," James said, hoping he didn't sound as disappointed as he felt. But every word she spoke made her intentions as clear as if she'd unfurled a banner reading, "NOT A DATE."

 _Maybe I did just imagine that spark_.

...

AN: Hey, glad you're still here! Hope you're enjoying reading as much as I'm enjoying writing. This is the longest chapter yet, so I hope it doesn't drag. And we've got some angst and drama coming soon, so get ready :-) Comments, substantive or otherwise, make my day, so feel free to leave me some words! xo


	4. Reading the Room

Chapter 4: Reading the Room

"I'm so glad you came!" Lily exclaimed, beaming as she let James and Sirius into Remus' homey East Village apartment. She gave them each a hug, far too brief for James' liking. "Remus is just finishing up the lamb. Come have some wine."

The boys joined Lily in the apartment's tiny living room, drinking wine and making small talk until dinner was ready. James learned that Lily was a law student by day ( _beautiful_ and _smart_ , he thought) and a bartender by night, and Remus was a freelance writer. Lily had lived in New York for four years, in Harlem the whole time, not far from where James had grown up in Washington Heights. In fact, when she'd first moved to New York, she'd joined a recreational soccer league that held matches in the same park where James had played growing up.

By the time the foursome sat down to eat, James felt certain that nothing less than destiny had brought him and Lily into each other's lives. He took a bite of lamb to hide his growing smile, stifling a groan of pleasure as it melted in his mouth.

Remus was an amazing cook, because of course he was.

James' go-to dish was spaghetti and pre-cooked meatballs.

But before James had time to dwell on this potential setback, Sirius flashed his most charming smile at Remus and waved his fork gently in Lily's direction. "So," he asked, with a forced casualness, "how did you two meet?"

Lily put a hand over her mouth full of potatoes as she giggled. "Online, actually. It's kind of awesome." She swallowed and gestured at Remus. "So, I saw his profile, and he's cute, right?"

Remus raised his glass to her. "Cheers, love."

"But what really got my attention was his cat. He had all these pictures of him with his cat."

"And my cat's name is Westley."

"So, I had to message him! So I said, 'My cat's name is Buttercup. Obviously, they need to meet.' And _he_ says—"

"As you wish," Remus finished, and they dissolved into laughter.

James looked confused. "What's the joke?"

" _The_ _Princess Bride_ ," Sirius said incredulously. "Have you never seen _The Princess Bride_? Geez. How am I still friends with you?"

"That's ridiculous!" Lily declared, slapping her thighs to emphasize the point. "We'll have to watch it sometime."

"Okay, sure." James shrugged and tried not to look too pleased at the idea of a cozy movie night with Lily Evans.

Besides, for all he knew, she meant "we" as in the four of them. Again.

He schooled his features to nonchalance and asked, "So you hooked up because of your cats?"

"Well, yeah, initially, but we—" Lily's phone buzzed on the table, and she paused to look at it. She gave a small gasp and turned to Remus with wide eyes. "It's Petunia."

Remus' eyes widened, too. "You'd better answer."

Lily nodded, her teeth tugging at her bottom lip. "Excuse me." She rose from the table and hurried into the kitchen to take the call.

Sirius and Remus continued talking while Lily was on the phone in the other room, but James found it hard to focus on the conversation. _They_ are _dating_ , he thought miserably. _Bonded over their stupid cats and some dumb movie._

As soon as he had that thought, he had to take it back. Buttercup was hardly stupid.

Still, James was all but pouting by the time Lily returned to the table. But she smiled as she sat down, and he couldn't help smiling back.

Then Remus reached over and grabbed her hand and whispered, "Everything all right?"

She squeezed his hand and nodded, offering him a sweet smile as well, and James wanted to stand up and flip the table.

"Good," Remus said, nodding. He stood and patted Lily on the shoulder. "I think I fancy a smoke before dessert. I'll be on the fire escape."

"I'll come with," Sirius said quickly.

James' eyebrows shot up – Sirius had quit smoking years ago – but Sirius just smirked and followed Remus towards the back of the apartment.

And James was alone with Lily.

She pushed back her chair and stepped towards him, and there was an absurd moment where James thought maybe he should pull her into his lap. But she just said, "Let me take your plate," and practically grabbed it from him before rushing away like he might be contagious.

"Oh. Thanks." He hoped his disappointment wasn't obvious. "I'll come keep you company, that cool?" Lily made a vaguely affirmative sound, and he followed her into the kitchen.

She put the dishes in the sink and stayed there for a moment, her back to him. Then, slowly, she turned around. Their eyes met, and James felt a swooping sensation in his stomach, like the first drop on a roller coaster.

Those doe-eyes. _So damn beautiful._

 _She's dating Remus_ , he reminded himself, but he couldn't help taking a step towards her, then another, drawn like metal to a magnet.

And then she blurted out, "Do you have any siblings?"

James stopped walking in surprise. But he couldn't help grinning as he answered, "Just Sirius." His smile grew wider at Lily's confused expression. "I mean, he's not blood, but he might as well be. We grew up together, he even lived with my family when we were in high school. My ma likes him better than me, I swear."

"She definitely does," Sirius said, poking his head in the kitchen. James shoved him in the shoulder, and Sirius winked at Lily. "We finished the wine. I'ma go with Remus to get more. You good?" He raised an eyebrow at James.

"Yeah, we're good. Thanks, bruh."

Sirius nodded and disappeared. A moment later, they heard the front door open and shut, then the apartment was quiet again.

Lily laughed into the silence, but it sounded wistful. "He's hilarious. It's cool that you guys are so close. Petunia and I—Petunia's my sister—we used to be close."

Her lip trembled, and she took a deep breath as if to steady herself. But apparently it was too late – before James could even joke that Sirius was more trouble than he was worth, Lily was crying.

She looked nearly as shocked about it as James felt. Instinctively, he reached for her, and this time she let him, folding herself into his arms as though she'd done it a thousand times. He cradled her head, rubbed her back, and she sobbed into his shirt for nearly a minute.

Abruptly, she stiffened against him and sniffed, but instead of pulling away, she kept her face pressed against his shoulder, like she was comfortable there. Or maybe just hiding. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry," she muttered. "This is so embarrassing."

"Nah, don't worry." James' hands were still wrapped around her back, his thumb still gently stroking her spine. "Families can be tough. And you've had a rough week."

Lily straightened up and chuckled without humor, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. "You're not wrong. But still, I never fall apart like this. _Never._ " There was force behind the last word, as though she were scolding herself. She shook her head and blinked up at James. "I think the fire affected me more than I thought."

"Heh, you coulda fooled me." James gave her a lopsided smile. "You've handled this like a champ."

"Maybe. It doesn't feel like it," Lily mumbled. "I'm just—I'm so used to doing everything on my own. But I don't think I would've survived this without Remus."

At the mention of Remus, James dropped his hands from her back as though her skin burned. He wondered if he should back away, or apologize for overstepping.

But before he could say anything, Lily reached up slowly and straightened his glasses. "And you," she added, shaking her head as if in awe. "I'm still not sure you're not some sort of fantasy, or my guardian angel. I swear, somehow, you're keeping me from having a complete meltdown."

Warmth spread through James at the casual way she adjusted his glasses, not to mention she'd called him a fantasy. Still, he was pretty sure she was underestimating herself. "I'd love to take credit, but, honestly, you just seem like the kind of person who's got her shit together."

"Thanks." Lily tried to laugh again. "I like to think so. But ever since the fire, I've been feeling…helpless. Out of control. And I hate it." She shrugged and ran a hand absently down James' arm. "But you make me feel better. Stronger. Is that weird?"

"Nah," James said, glad he wasn't alone in feeling the connection between them. "It makes perfect sense to me."

"Really?" Lily looked up at him with hopeful eyes. When she spoke again, her voice was barely audible. "I don't like depending on other people. It's why Petunia and I don't get along, actually. She thinks I only care about myself. But it's not that, it's just—ever since I was a kid, ever since…" Her words trailed off.

"Ever since…?" James prompted gently.

Lily cocked her head at him, as if considering something. After a moment, she said, "When I was little, we lived with my grandparents. And one year, the local fire chief came to my elementary school. He lectured us on fire safety and said every family should have an emergency plan—designate a meeting place, assign responsibilities and all that. I told my parents, and we decided if there was ever a fire, we'd all meet outside by this oak tree on the edge of the yard."

"It's a good plan," James said, dreading what he suspected was coming next. "But something went wrong?"

Lily nodded, seeming to struggle with the next words. "My grandma used to smoke in bed," she said finally. "And old houses, you know, they didn't have as many smoke detectors back then." Her eyes watered some more. "Petunia and I did our part. We shared a bedroom on the first floor, and as soon as we realized there was a fire I grabbed her hand and we ran outside to the oak tree. My dad was out of town, thank God. But my mother and my grandparents…I guess they didn't wake up in time. They didn't make it out."

"Ah, Lily." James raised one hand up to the back of her head and pulled her to his chest again. "I'm so sorry."

"Petunia blamed me for years," she whispered. "It was my stupid fire plan, and I was so focused on following it. I didn't try to check if anyone else was awake or anything. We just ran."

"That's what you were supposed to do! You were just a kid! You damned sure shouldn't have tried to run through the fire to warn the adults. You did the right thing. You know that, right?"

"I do, sort of." She shrugged. "But that's why I had to get Buttercup, you know? I couldn't leave her behind. I would never forgive myself. Not again."

"I feel you," James said. He shook his head, then, on an impulse, cupped Lily's cheeks in both hands. "You're amazing," he said softly. "Crazy brave, like I told you before. But please don't do that again, okay? Leave the rescues to guys like me."

She snorted at that. "I mean, I know. But I'm not just, like, a damsel in distress, Potter. I don't usually need to be rescued."

"I think I know that, _leona_ ," James said, trying to keep his voice light. "But maybe you could depend on me for just this one thing, okay? Unless you're planning on joining the fire academy."

Lily's laugh was genuine this time. "Okay, fine. You handle the fires, and I'll handle everything else." She smiled up at him, those beautiful eyes shining.

"Bet." James smiled, too, still holding her face.

In that moment, the air between them shifted, _thickened_ somehow. James realized Lily was looking at him differently – like she wanted to devour him, like she hoped he'd devour her. And the compassion he'd been feeling began to give way into something else. Something more…primal.

Maybe that's all it was; the electricity he'd felt between them before, the thing she'd been avoiding all night. Lust, passion between two people who met in a messed-up situation, who didn't _want_ to need each other, but, for whatever reason, did.

 _You shouldn't kiss her_ , said a voice in James' head, just before a second, louder voice screamed, _WHY THE HELL NOT?_

If there was a good reason not to kiss Lily, James couldn't remember it at the moment.

So he did.

...

AN: AAAAAHHHHH thank you all for reading! Shoutouts to my guest reviewer who's yelling at James for being oblivious - it made me laugh out loud and you will end up yelling at him again, I'm sure. Similarly, recklesslibrarian, to James' credit, this chapter shows that Lily and Remus could be waaaaay clearer about their friendship than they are, but still! Everyone knows what's going on but you, Jamie! And thank you so much to everyone who's reading and reviewing so far, your comments seriously make my day. You don't even know.

Manufactured drama coming up next! xo


	5. The Kiss of Death

Chapter 5: The Kiss of Death

James hesitated, his mouth a fraction of an inch above Lily's, and her lips curved into a hesitant smile as she tilted her face up to close the distance between them. She made a soft, satisfied sound as their lips met, and she snaked her arms around his shoulders. One of James' hands stayed on her cheek, but the other moved to her waist and pulled her even more firmly against him.

He meant to keep the kiss soft, gentle. But Lily grazed his bottom lip with her teeth and her tongue dipped into his mouth, first tentatively, almost a question, then more firmly when his lips parted eagerly, inviting her in. Their teeth clacked together as she deepened the kiss, and she tangled her fingers in his hair.

James _loved_ that. With a slight growl, he picked her up and set her on the kitchen counter. Her skirt rode up, exposing her thighs, and she giggled into his mouth.

He broke the kiss for a moment, brushing his lips across her cheek, then her eyelid. His breath came in a pant as he asked, "Are you sure we should be doing this?"

Lily looked puzzled for a second, then she smiled. "You're not doing anything I don't want you to do," she assured him. "And I'd tell you if you were."

James grinned. "All right, then." He resumed kissing her, but now it was soft, wet, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline. She hummed softly, eyes closed, and arched into him with a motion like a cat stretching. Her hands slipped under the hem of James' shirt, and a shudder of pleasure ripped through him.

"Damn, I want you," he groaned, lips against her ear. He slid his hands up her thighs and squeezed gently. They were as thick and firm as he'd hoped, and he wanted – no, _needed_ – them wrapped around his waist.

"I want you, too," Lily whispered. "So bad. It's crazy." She brushed her lips against his cheek, then began tracing a path over his jaw and down his neck.

James sighed and slid his hands farther under her skirt, his fingers brushing the edge of her panties. He let his thumbs rest at the crease between her thighs and her hips and took a deep breath, trying to slow himself down. "Is this okay?"

"Mmhmm," Lily murmured, still pressing kisses against his throat.

He wrapped his hands around her thighs and dragged her to the edge of the counter, spreading her legs and settling himself solidly between them. Lily whimpered. "Still okay?" he muttered.

"Yeah," she said breathlessly. "God, I've never done anything like this."

"Like what?" James said thickly. He kissed her desperately and rocked his hips against her, eliciting another soft moan. And then.

And. THEN.

He uttered possibly the stupidest words he'd uttered in his adult life:

"Cheat on your man on his kitchen counter?"

In the giddiness of the moment, Lily nearly laughed. "No, I—"

He felt the exact moment she processed what he'd said, because she froze under his hands. "Wait, _what?_ " she gasped. She shoved him away from her hard, both hands flat against his chest. "You think—I'm not _with_ Remus, you jackass! Are you insane?"

James hadn't thought so, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Well, nah, I just—you're not?" he stuttered. His hands were still hovering in the air, reaching towards Lily as if pulled by invisible strings. "I thought you—"

"You thought I was _throwing_ myself at you in my boyfriend's kitchen. You thought _I_ have no respect for my relationship, so why should you?" She hopped off the counter, tugging her skirt back into place, then jabbed an angry finger in his direction. "You _thought_ I was the kind of girl who would let some guy she just met _dry hump her on the counter_ while her _boyfriend_ steps out to get wine!"

"No, I—" James' voice faltered.

He wanted to explain, to tell her that he didn't know _what_ to think, that nothing about her had made sense to him from the moment he'd seen her crawling deeper into her burning apartment. That all he knew was that she'd felt perfect in his arms, and he might want to hold her forever. That he wanted to kiss her and touch her, yes, but also to get to know her, and how to make her smile. That he'd been basically devastated by the idea that she was with Remus. That when she kissed him anyway it was like a dream come true. That she was as much of a fantasy to him as she'd said he was to her.

He wanted to tell her so many things.

But he stood there, fumbling for the right words, and Lily took his silence as confirmation of the worst. She threw her head back, clenched her fists, and screamed her frustration at the ceiling.

"I'm such an _idiot!_ Here I am, thinking we're having a moment, telling you my whole damn life story, and _you're_ just over there thinking, 'Hmm, that one looks easy.' I bet you _loved_ when I said I've been feeling helpless without you! Perfect opportunity for you, right?" She shook her head, her eyes meeting his for barely a second before she looked away. "I _trusted_ you."

He heard the change in her tone, the unspoken implication behind her last sentence. He felt his heart seize with panic, the pain in his chest mirroring that on Lily's face.

He had to fix it. "No, no, no, Lily, it's not like that at all!" He reached for her again, his movements clumsy and desperate. "I wasn't tryna take advantage of you, I would never do that! And I don't think you're easy. I really like you."

Lily dodged his flailing hands, her arms wrapped tight around her waist like she was literally holding herself together. "Then why'd you wait 'til I was crying to make a move? And why would you kiss me if you thought I had a boyfriend? What were you expecting to get out of this?" She glared at him and huffed out a breath. "Maybe you _like_ me, whatever that means. But you clearly don't respect me."

"No, no, listen—" James heard a key turn in the front door of the apartment, heard Remus' and Sirius' laughter as they entered, and he knew he was running out of time. "Lily, I'm so sorry. Please let me explain."

She turned and stormed from the kitchen without another word.

James hurried after her and saw that she was grabbing his coat off the back of Remus' couch. Jaw clenched, those heart-shaped lips pressed into a hard line, she marched past Remus and Sirius to the door they'd just shut and opened it again. Sirius, who had been shrugging out of his own jacket, watched her in confusion.

"James has to go now," Lily said evenly, but James could see that her hands were shaking.

Remus stared at her for a moment, then tilted his head and narrowed his eyes in James' direction.

 _He looks stupid_ , James thought irritably. Remus was wearing a beanie and at least two scarves and fingerless gloves, which James assumed was some sort of fashion thing, but what's even the point? Plus, he was tall, but very slim, sort of wiry, maybe, and pale. Like, consumptively pale. Not at all intimidating.

At least, that's what James told himself. And yet…in that moment, Remus' gaze was that of a predator sizing up his prey. Like he was considering just how much force it would take to snap James' neck, should he need to do so.

Instinctively, James squared his shoulders.

But just as quickly as the look had appeared on Remus' face, it was gone. He turned to Sirius with a tight-lipped smile. "You should go, too."

"Yeah," Sirius said, wincing. "We'll talk soon, though, right?"

"Right," Remus said curtly. He turned his glare back to James and folded his arms over his chest.

"Hold up. Lily, please, can I talk to you?" James asked, ignoring Remus. He sounded like he was begging, but he didn't care. He reached for Lily's hand.

She jerked away from him and shook her head mutely, her eyes shining. The realization that she was holding back tears hit James like a punch to the gut. "Thanks again for saving my life," she finally said. She shoved his jacket into his still outstretched hands. "Now goodbye."

...

AN: Manufactured drama, as promised! I worked hard to make it fit this story, so I hope it works. Thanks to everyone who's reading at reviewing, your comments fuel my spirit! Comments, questions, emojis, keyboard smashes, I love it all. xo


	6. Picking up the Pieces

AN: Sorry for the longer wait! We're almost to the finish line :-) This chapter's got a bit more swearing than others, and James is sooooo New York, which I know is not everyone's jam, but it's mine. Enjoy!

...

Chapter 6: Picking up the Pieces

As soon as the door shut behind their visitors, Remus turned his glare on Lily. "Okay. What did he do?"

She burst into tears, and Remus immediately wrapped her in a hug. But that only reminded her of crying against James' chest not twenty minutes ago. She jerked away and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"He kissed me." She avoided Remus' eyes, hoping to hide her hurt and confusion. _How did something that started so sweet go so wrong?_

Remus bent down to see her face, but he didn't touch her again. "Against your will?" He forced the quiet words through clenched teeth, and Lily could tell he was clinging to control for her sake.

"No!" She shook her head, remembering how careful James had been to make sure she was okay with everything they did. "It wasn't like that. _He's_ not like that."

"Well, I don't know what he's like, do I?" Remus snorted, his brow furrowed and his usually bright eyes dark. "What I know is, he saved your life, and you became mildly obsessed with him. But not ten minutes alone with him, and you're crying and tossing him out. _That's_ what I know. So. What. Happened?"

Lily shrugged one shoulder, the casual movement a mask for her pain. "He called me an amoral slut."

Remus' barely-caged control broke free with a roar. "He did _what_?" He lurched towards Lily, his body poised like he was prepared to go hunt for James right then, if she gave the word.

She lifted her hands to calm him. "I mean, he didn't _say_ that," she hedged. "We were making out, and it was _so_ _hot_. But then he accused me of cheating on you."

"Cheating on _me_?" Remus blinked. Then he groaned, his shoulders sagging. "Oh, no. What an absolute donkey."

"Yeah." Lily looked at the floor, again trying to hide her conflicting emotions. "And it just made me feel—I dunno. Cheap. Like he doesn't respect me." She lifted her chin. "Plus, you know I would never do that to someone I was with."

"Of course you wouldn't." Remus sighed. "He's a bloody idiot. But…I don't think meant to insult you, really. He was just confused."

"In what world is that not insulting?" Lily demanded. She pointed an accusatory finger at Remus and added, "And what did you say to him while I was on the phone? I thought you'd finish telling him the story of how we met, but obviously not."

"We were too busy lecturing him on his poor taste in movies!" Remus looked apologetic. "I'm so sorry, love. I knew you were interested, and he seemed so enamored, I just thought you two might enjoy a minute to yourselves. I didn't think he'd be so thick as to—"

"Question my morals and try to screw me at the same time? Not your fault," she muttered, somewhat calmed by Remus' sincerity. She sighed. "I should've known someone so beautiful had to be a dickhead."

Remus chuckled, but his expression was sheepish. "Right. Well, speaking of beautiful, I guess I should tell you now—" he winced before blurting out, "—I've got a date with Sirius."

...

"You're going out with Remus?" James threw his head back and groaned. "Bruh, what the fuck? It woulda been mad useful to know he was gay, like, twenty minutes ago."

"He's not gay, he's bi," Sirius corrected. "He and Lily did go on a date a couple years ago, but they decided they're better as friends. No sexual chemistry."

James grunted. "So they used to…" he trailed off. He had no right to be jealous. Besides – obsessing over Lily's relationship with Remus is what had gotten him in this mess in the first place.

Still, Sirius answered James' unasked question. "Nah, I got the impression it never even made it that far," he said. "Sounds like they spent their date talking about their cats. And desserts. Remus is big on dessert."

"Dammit." James wanted to know if Lily was big on dessert. He wished they could just go back to the moment when she'd been in his arms, opening up to him about her family. He'd kiss her tears away, and he wouldn't screw it up this time.

"Yeah, man, you blew it," Sirius said, once again reading James' thoughts. "I just hope Remus doesn't hold your stupidity against me." His handsome face twisted in confusion. "The hell is your problem, anyway? You've been talking about this girl non-stop for a week, and then when you're finally with her, you're too much of a punk to just ask her what's up?"

"I dunno what happened!" James tugged his hair in frustration. "I think I panicked. Shit got too real."

Sirius shook his head. "Insecurity is not a good look on you, man."

"Facts." James kicked at some trash on the sidewalk. Then he perked up. "You'll talk to Remus for me, right? Maybe he can get her to give me another chance."

"I'll try, but I'm not gonna sabotage my thing for you," Sirius warned. "I haven't been this interested in a guy in a long time."

James blew out a defeated breath. "I know the feeling."

...

With school finished for the semester, Lily took as many shifts as possible at the bar. She also took a part-time job at a department store, just for the holiday season, to help build her savings. She needed the extra cash if she was going to move out of Remus' after the new year. It was time to get back on her own two feet.

Unfortunately, three days before Christmas, she was literally flat on her back, having woken up with a vicious head cold that kept her confined to her bed – futon, really – in Remus' guest room.

She was lying there, her head feeling like a balloon ready to burst from the pressure, when Remus entered the closet-sized room bearing two cups of tea. He sat down by her feet with a reproachful look on his face. "I told you you needed to slow down."

"And I told you I couldn't," Lily snapped back, her stubborn tone comical through her stopped-up nose. "I can't live here forever, I need to find my own place."

"You know you can stay as long as you need. And you won't be going anywhere if you run yourself into the ground in the meantime."

Lily's lower lip jutted out, childishly defiant, and Remus laughed. "Anyway," he said, handing her a mug, "I don't believe you're working yourself to death so you can move out. At least, not only that." He gave her a pointed look. "You're trying not to think about James."

" _No._ " Lily shook her head so emphatically that she sloshed tea over the edge of her cup. But she refused to meet Remus' eye. "It's not that at all. That was just another shitty moment in a shitty couple of weeks. I'm over it."

Remus raised his eyebrows skeptically, but the smile he gave Lily was sympathetic. "I doubt that, love. And from what I hear, he's not over it, either."

...

"You either gotta do something about it or get over it, man," Sirius said, his eyes challenging James from across the table. "You're boring when you're like this."

Mrs. Potter stopped in the midst of serving James some red beans and rice and looked at him with concern. "Do something about what, _mijo_?"

"Yes, do tell. We can't have Sirius bored," Mr. Potter said, giving Sirius a sly smirk as he cut into his roast chicken.

He and Sirius laughed, but James rolled his eyes.

"I'm fine, Mami," he said, ignoring his father and surrogate brother. He gave her a half-smile and hoped he sounded convincing.

Sirius wouldn't let it go so easily. "Uh-uh," he said, tone child-like, grin widening when James scowled at him. "Ma, there's this girl he likes. He calls her _la leona_. And he's been moping for _days_ 'cause she won't talk to him."

"Oh, no," Mrs. Potter murmured. "What did you do to this young lady, _amor_?"

"Why'd you think _I_ did somethin'?" James demanded. "It could be her fault."

As soon as the words were out, a wave of guilt crashed over him. He shoveled some beans into his mouth and avoided his mother's eyes.

Sirius made a disapproving sound. "Bro, you know this is on you."

"Snitch," James muttered. But he knew Sirius was right.

So, with a heavy sigh, James told his parents about the beautiful, brave girl he'd recused from an apartment fire, how he couldn't get her out of his mind, and how he'd blown his chance for something more by insulting her the minute they were alone together.

"Okay," Mrs. Potter said slowly, after he'd given her the highlights – and lowlights – of the story. "So how are you going to fix it?"

"I dunno, Mami. I told her I was sorry!" James didn't mean to whine, but his mother's tone brought out his more childish tendencies. "She didn't want to hear it."

"Well, it's going to take more than a simple apology, of course," Mrs. Potter said, frowning at him. "You're going to have to make a real effort."

"Cook her her favorite meal," Mr. Potter suggested. "That's what I used to do for Euphemia when I was in the dog house. Shows you've been paying attention, right Phemie?"

Mrs. Potter gave her husband an affectionate smile, but James continued pouting. "I don't know her favorite meal!" he said. "I barely know her at all."

To his surprise, his mother's lips curved into a smirk. "Oh, come on," she scoffed, her eyes alight with her smile. "As much as you've told me about her in just five minutes, I think you know her well enough. The question is, are you going to put in the effort or not?"

...

Lily and Remus were on the couch watching _The Great British Baking Show_ when they heard a knock on the apartment door.

Lily glanced up in surprise. "Are you expecting anyone?"

"Might be." Remus shrugged, but his lips twitched with a suppressed smile. "Why don't you go have a look?"

There weren't that many people they both knew, and even fewer who knew Lily was staying with Remus. She pursed her lips in suspicion. "Okay…" she murmured. She walked over to the door and cracked it open with the chain still on.

"Yes?" she started to ask, but the word faded, replaced by a shriek of delight, as she recognized their guest.

"Mary!" Lily pulled the chain from the door and flung it wide, then threw her arms around her former college roommate.

"Surprise!" Mary Macdonald drawled, beaming. "It just doesn't feel like the holidays if I don't get to see you!"

It was true – for several years now, Lily had joined the Macdonalds in Texas for the holidays, a tradition that began the moment Mary learned that Lily and Petunia weren't close. But given the events of the last two weeks, Lily had spent Christmas with Remus this year, eating pie, watching _Home Alone_ , and staging Instagram photos of the cats playing with holiday decorations.

It had been lovely, if a little lonelier than Lily had expected.

She fought back happy tears as she led Mary into the living room. "You're so sweet," she said thickly. "I can't believe you're here!"

"Yeah, well, you _said_ you're fine, but I've known you for eight years. Something's up. So I texted Remus a few days ago and told him I was coming to see you." She placed a bottle of wine on the coffee table and commanded, with that steely charm some southerners manage so well, "Now tell mama what's going on."

Lily chuckled. "Let's open the wine first."

Mary's expression jumped from worried to gleeful to horrified as Lily relayed the story of her fairytale prince-turned-ogre. "Wow," she said, as Lily finished talking. "What a fool."

"Right?" Lily took a gulp of wine and rolled her eyes. "A super-hot guy saves my life and I, like, decide we're meant to be together. And of course he turns out to be a dick. I'm ridiculous."

Mary snorted. "Obviously, I didn't mean _you're_ the fool, Lil. He is."

"Maybe." Lily shrugged. "But I should know better by now than to believe in fantasies."

Instead of the sympathy Lily expected, Mary slapped a hand to her own forehead. "Ohhh," she said, with far too much understanding for Lily's liking, "is _that_ what this is about?"

"Told you," Remus sang, tilting his wine glass in Mary's direction.

His tone was even worse than Mary's. Lily narrowed her eyes. "Told her what?"

Mary took Lily's glass and set it on the coffee table, then took Lily's hands in hers. "Don't get me wrong, Lil, James was an asshole. But you shouldn't take this experience as proof you're meant to be alone."

Lily took a deep breath, preparing to deny she was doing any such thing. But she couldn't.

"Why wouldn't I, though?" she said instead. Her voice was strong, but her eyes watered. "I broke my pattern, followed my heart instead of my head, and look what happened. Maybe it's because of the fire that I wanted to believe there was some deep connection here, but there isn't. I'm alone, just like I've been since I was a kid."

"Oh, Lily," Mary said, and she sounded like her own heart was breaking. "You're not alone. Remus and I will always be there for you. And there are tons of other people who would love you, if you'd let them."

"And I don't think you imagined a connection with James," Remus added. "I know it's easier to think he was looking for a quick shag, but—"

"But what?" Lily snapped, angry at herself for being near tears. " _Sirius_ says it wasn't like that?"

"This isn't about Sirius," Remus said firmly. "It's about how James chose to visit you at the hospital. How James took care of Buttercup like she was his own. And how James spent dinner looking at you like you're a bloody miracle."

Mary grinned. "He seems _so_ impressed with you," she said, squeezing Lily's hand again. "He even gave you a nickname!"

A flush crept up Lily's cheeks. "That doesn't mean anything," she mumbled, but her protest was weak.

"It might, it might not," Mary conceded, shrugging. "But don't you want to find out?"

Lily felt something flutter in her chest.

Anxiety, mostly. But desire and longing, too.

Those feelings had only ever led her to heartache. She snorted, as if she could expel the emotions along with her breath.

"I'll think about it," she said finally. "But I'm not going to get my hopes up."

...

Lying in bed that evening, James felt a spark of hope thinking about his mother's words.

He _was_ willing to put in the effort to make things right. And he _did_ know plenty of things about Lily.

She was witty and beautiful and athletic. She liked him in glasses, and it seemed fair to call her a danger to herself and others in the kitchen. Her friends were her family – just like Sirius – and she'd protect her cat with her life. Literally.

She had darkness in her past, more than James could even imagine. She didn't trust easily. And yet, James had won her trust – and then promptly betrayed it.

He knew her sister's accusation that she was selfish haunted her, and he had basically cosigned it.

His hope faded.

He felt like shit.

James scrubbed one hand over his face, as if to wipe the feelings away, and with the other hand groped blindly for his phone. His flailing succeeded only in knocking over a glass of water on his bedside table.

"Dammit," he muttered, turning on a lamp to assess the damage.

The glass hadn't broken, but a small red envelope had fallen to the floor, its edges stained by the spreading puddle.

The dinner invitation from Lily.

He felt a rush of panic as he scrambled to pick it up, hoping the water hadn't seeped through the envelope to the card inside. Maybe it was silly, but the little handwritten note was important to him, because it was a piece of _her_. And he wasn't sure she'd ever willingly share a piece of herself with him again.

And just like that, James realized what he needed to do.

The next day, armed with a stack of blank Christmas cards from the clearance section of the nearest Walgreens, James sat down in front of his T.V. He had a movie to watch and a letter to write.


	7. Sparks Rekindled

AN: Content warning: Our kids get their happy ending, but first there's just a *tiny* bit of violence and a bunch of swearing :-)

...

Chapter 7: Sparks Rekindled

Lily traced her fingers over the address on the envelope in her hand, the words scrawled in a messy, loopy script that somehow perfectly evoked the image of a playful smile and wild black hair. She'd thought James' stupidity had thoroughly doused the flame of her attraction to him, but just the sight of her name written by his hand threatened to re-ignite those fading embers.

 _But_ _that's just surface stuff_ , she told herself sternly. It was what was _inside_ that mattered, and Lily wasn't sure she was ready to deal with the contents of either the letter or the boy who'd written it.

Not that she wasn't curious – she was. She'd considered reaching out to him a hundred times over the past three days. But she'd always stopped herself, despite Remus' and Mary's encouragement, because…what if they were wrong? What if he was only sorry he'd hurt her feelings because it had cost him a one-night stand? What if whatever he said only made her feel worse?

 _Better to leave it alone_.

And yet, as if he knew her secret desires, here he was, reaching out to _her_ in the least invasive way possible. And on New Year's Eve, no less.

 _This is not a fairy tale_.

It was only when Mary yelled, "But it could be!" that Lily realized she'd spoken that last thought out loud. She looked up, startled, and Mary jabbed an excited finger at her. "Just open the dang card, Lil!"

The advice was unwelcome, but sound. So Lily sucked a deep breath through her teeth, squeezed her eyes shut, and ripped the letter open with one violent tug.

Nothing exploded. No earthquake ripped through the East Village. Not even the tiniest sinkhole opened up in Remus' living room floor.

It was just a card. Probably harmless.

 _But you thought he was harmless before, too._

Lily shook her head at her own paranoia and forced herself to look at the card in her hands. On the front was a picture of a reindeer with a wreath around its neck and its antlers wrapped in Christmas lights. The deer had an oddly pleased expression on its face, like it knew it was _nailing_ this holiday decorating thing.

It looked ridiculous. Lily loved it.

"So?" Mary clapped her hands. "What's it say?"

"Gimme a sec," Lily huffed, annoyed at how much she enjoyed that festive reindeer. The fact that he picked cute Christmas cards was _not_ a point in James' favor.

 _It's what's inside that matters, remember?_

 _Right_. Nothing to do but open the card.

She did, and blinked in surprise at what she saw. Nearly every centimeter of blank space on both faces of the card was covered in more of the looping handwriting she had admired on the envelope. She bit her lip and began to read.

 ** _To la Leona -_**

 ** _Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I remembered how you said no one sends cards with notes anymore, so I thought I would send you one. I tried to find a Christmas card with a lioness on it, but no luck. Deer are kind of majestic and powerful too tho, right? And maybe brave, who knows? I'm just keeping with the animal theme._**

 ** _Anyway, I hope it's okay that I'm writing to you. I just really wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what I said when I was at your place last weekend. I don't think you're the kind of person who would cheat on her boyfriend. I think you're a loyal, caring woman. And you're brave and crazy – I mean, crazy brave (lol)._**

 ** _I know we just met, but I really like and respect you. I think you're amazing, and I'm sorry I ever made you feel like I didn't. I was tripping because it felt like I was reading too much into everything that happened between us, and I think I was trying to act like I didn't care if you didn't feel the same way. But deadass, your feelings are mad important to me. And if you give me another chance, I promise I will make sure you never doubt that ever again._**

Lily took a deep breath. She had never thought she'd find the phrase, "deadass, your feelings are mad important to me" so touching, but here she was, reading it over and over, caught between laughing and crying from the sincerity of it all.

On her third re-read, she noticed an arrow underneath the text in the bottom corner. With a small smile, she flipped the card over and read:

 ** _Also, I watched_** **The Princess Bride.** ** _And you guys were right, it's mad funny. But the part that got me is at the end when Westley reminds Buttercup that he will always come for her. Dude said he would actually come back from the dead to find her. That's deep. And then I don't know what happened, I think probably somebody started chopping onions in my living room right at that moment? So my eyes watered for just a second._**

 ** _That's my story and I'm sticking to it._**

 ** _Anyway, I just want to say I'm sorry one more time. I would love to tell you in person, but I get it if you don't want to see me again. But if you change your mind and get this letter in time, come with Remus to the new year's party at Frank's place._**

 ** _Sincerely,_** **_James Potter_**

Lily looked up and found Mary beaming at her. It took her a second to realize she was beaming right back, her smile so wide her cheeks were starting to hurt.

It felt great.

She handed the card to Mary, who scanned the contents rapidly, her eyes lighting up as she read. She finished and gave a little gasp before slapping her hand over her mouth.

"Okay, this is really sweet!" she exclaimed. "Lil!" She fell back on the couch and clasped her hands in front of her chest. If she were an emoji, she'd have heart eyes.

Mary's overt display of emotion set off warning sirens in Lily's mind. Her smile turned into a worried frown as she took the card back from her friend.

"I mean, it _sounds_ good," she said cautiously. "But how do I know he means it?"

"You think he doesn't? This seems like a lot of effort for him to go through if he's not really sorry." Mary raised her eyebrows. "This isn't a text that says 'my bad, bae.' He watched your favorite movie and then _handwrote you a letter_ about how sorry he is and how great you are."

Lily's cheeks went pink. _Deadass, your feelings are mad important to me._ The sirens in her head faded away.

"He totally did." She fell back against the couch and covered her face with her hands, but her smile was back in full force. "Oh my God, so are we going to this party?"

"Um, ring in the new year with all these gorgeous men you and Remus keep talking about? Yes, please!" Mary yelled, tossing the card in the air and jumping up from the couch. Lily snorted out a laugh. "We'll go find James, and you'll declare your _wuv, twue wuv,_ and kiss at midnight, and—"

"Whoa! Mary!" Lily yelled, but she was still laughing. "There will be no declarations of love! He's just _barely_ off my shit list!"

"Yeah, yeah, Lily Evans doesn't believe in fairy tales," Mary said, grabbing Lily's hands and pulling her to her feet. "Text Remus for the address, and let's get dressed. You've got a hot fireman waiting for you."

...

Two hours later Lily and Mary stood in front of the door at the address Remus had sent them, Lily bouncing on her toes and Mary practically vibrating from excitement.

"You ready, Lil?" Mary asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Lily gave a tight nod. "I better be," she said. She rang the bell.

The door swung open almost immediately, revealing a short blond man with a Caesar haircut and a boyish face.

"Oh, hi," Lily said, surprised. She glanced at the door to make sure she was at the correct apartment. "Is this Frank's place? We're here for the party."

The blond man ignored her question, squinting at them with his head tilted to the side, his nose twitching as though he smelled something familiar but couldn't quite place it. The expression erased any boyish charm from his face and left him looking distinctly rodent-like.

It was somewhat off-putting. After several awkward seconds, his eyes lit up with a smug smile. "You're the chick from the apartment fire," he announced. "Who invited you?"

"Um, rude!" Mary exclaimed. She folded her arms and glared down at him. "What are you, the bouncer?"

"No, I work with Frank." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder without taking his eyes off Lily. "I was driving the truck the day you set your kitchen on fire. Frank wasn't even there."

"Yeah, I met him later, at the station," Lily said. She tried for a polite smile, but she wasn't sure she succeeded. "But we were invited by James Potter. Can we come in?"

"Ew, of course you're here to see _Potter_." Rodent-face rolled his eyes, but he stepped back and opened the door wider. Lily and Mary walked inside and began shrugging out of their coats.

"Girls always go for the tall guys," the man continued, leering at Lily. She had on a forest-green sweater dress with long sleeves, but somehow, this guy's stare made her feel like she might as well be in a bikini. "But I bet _you_ know it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean that gets it done." He punctuated this with a series of pelvic thrusts and a nasty cackle.

"Nice," Lily said flatly. _More than off-putting – he's a total creep_. "Can you just tell us where James and Sirius are?"

"Hey, take it easy, sweetheart. I'm just playing." The man slid an arm around Lily's shoulders and laughed in her ear.

He smelled like tequila, and his breath on her face made Lily shudder. She shrugged his arm off and stepped away from him. "Please don't touch me."

He stepped right back into her space, his watery eyes narrow again. "What, you're too good to talk to me?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him. "Don't be such a bitch."

"Excuse me?" Mary snapped, moving closer to Lily.

"I said _don't touch me_!" Lily repeated, louder.

The man sneered and reached for her again, and it was like time slowed down. She saw a blur out of the corner of her eye, heard a man's voice call her name in the distance, felt Rat-face's hand close around her wrist and yank.

And she cocked back and punched him in the face.

And then time sped up again, and everyone was yelling at once.

"Ow! What the fuck!" the man cried, clutching his nose. "You're crazy!"

"Oh my god, Lily!" Mary shrieked.

"Lily!" Remus appeared out of nowhere and put a hand on her shoulder. "What happened?"

Lily shook her hand rapidly and sucked in a deep breath. "If a woman says don't touch her, you don't _fucking_ touch her!" she yelled, glaring at the rodent-faced guy. "Shit, that really hurt!"

Remus whirled to look at Rat-face, and Lily realized that at some point in the past minute, James, Sirius, and Frank had joined the crowd by the door.

"Are you okay? What'd he do to you?" James demanded. He stepped towards Lily, then stopped as though he weren't sure how she'd react to his presence. He turned away and began pacing.

"Yeah, what happened?" Frank asked.

Rat-face was scowling at Lily and still holding his face. "She fucking hit me!"

Sirius gave the man a look of pure disdain. "I'm sure you deserved it," he said coolly, before turning back to Lily. "Lily, are you all right?"

"I think so." She matched Rat-face's glare with one of her own. "My hand hurts like hell, though."

James stopped pacing, his eyes darting between her and the blond man, fingers flexing like he was torn between reaching for her and choking him. With clear effort, he focused his attention solely on Lily and said, "I'll get you some ice. If that's okay."

Lily met James' eyes, and her breath hitched, just like it had almost every time she'd looked into his eyes since the moment they'd met. Now those gorgeous, iridescent eyes were so hopeful, and so worried. She felt the sudden urge to comfort _him_.

"Yeah, that's okay," she said softly. Some of the tension left James' face, and he gestured for her to follow him.

She did, ignoring the insults Rodent-face called after them. She sat on a bar stool in Frank's kitchen, and she was suddenly forcibly reminded of the last time she'd been alone with James. She fidgeted on her stool.

James filled a plastic sandwich bag with ice and wrapped it in paper towels. "Here," he said, handing it to Lily, "put that on your hand."

"Thank you," she said. She expected him to sit down next to her, but he backed away and leaned against the counter.

Lily felt a prick of disappointment. So much had changed between them in the short time they'd known each other. The ease and comfort they'd felt from the moment they'd met had been replaced by caution and anxiety on both ends.

But that's why she was here, wasn't it? To see if they could find that comfort again?

She took a deep breath, but James spoke before she did.

"I can't believe you punched Peter," he said, a note of awe in his voice.

Lily huffed out a laugh. "Is that his name?" she winced and shifted the ice pack over her fingers. "He's an asshole."

"Facts," James said with a nod. "I've come close to punching him a few times myself." His eyes narrowed. "So what'd he do to you?"

Lily narrowed her eyes right back. "Nothing I couldn't handle," she said pointedly.

"True, true. Almost forgot you're a lioness." James held up his hands and gave her a half-smile. But his expression sobered as he added, "I'm sorry for whatever he did that made you feel like you had to hit him, though."

"It's okay," Lily said, softening. "Wasn't your fault."

"I know." James ran a hand through his curly hair. "But not the opening act I wanted for my Epic Apology Tour, either."

An unexpected giggle bubbled up in Lily's chest and slipped out of her lips. "Epic Apology Tour, huh?" She glanced up at him through her eyelashes and pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. "What opening act did you have in mind?"

"Well, first, I was gonna get down on my knees and sing the Temptations' 'Ain't Too Proud to Beg.' Sirius was gonna sing backup, maybe Frank would play drums…"

Lily began laughing in earnest. "Can you even sing?"

"Not even a little." James shook his head and grinned. Then he took a deep breath. "Nah, for real, the first thing is just to say—I'm sorry. I know I said it in the letter, but you should hear it from me." He took off his glasses and polished them on his shirttails, gathering his thoughts. Or maybe his courage.

Lily wanted to go to him, wrap her arms around his neck, adjust those glasses herself. But she couldn't, not that easily. She gave him a tentative smile instead.

It was just the encouragement he needed. "I really like you," he said, more confidently. "And I should've just asked you what was up with Remus instead of worrying I wouldn't like the answer, and I never should've put my insecurities on you. I'm just—I'm really sorry."

He had returned his glasses to his face and was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms and legs crossed as if he were trying to physically restrain himself from walking over to her. The pose highlighted the muscles in his arms and his broad shoulders, but Lily couldn't look away from his eyes.

"Thank you," she said softly. She set the ice pack on the bar behind her and rose from her stool, but she didn't move towards him. _Not yet_. Instead, she asked, "Did you mean what you said in your letter? About being scared you were reading too much into this thing between us?"

James uncrossed his arms and stood up straight. "I meant every word."

"I believe you." She took a step forward. "It scares me, too. That's where I am right now. I want to trust you again, but I'm scared."

"I get it." He stepped towards her, too. They were so close together now. "But I want to show you you don't have to be. I want—"

"Lily!" Mary poked her head into the kitchen, and Lily and James jumped apart. "Two minutes 'til midnight!" She wiggled her eyebrows at Lily before turning to go back to the living room.

"Oh, wow, already?" Lily asked, blinking as if she'd forgotten where they were. "Are you okay? Should I come out there?"

"No, no," Mary called over her shoulder. "I'm with Remus and Sirius, and Frank and his wife are so nice! Now let me go, I'm trying to see if I can kiss this guy Ben at midnight! Find me later."

She was gone as quickly as she'd come.

James laughed. "She'll be fine," he said. "Benjy's a good dude."

"Okay." Lily turned back to James and her mouth felt suddenly dry. She licked her lips. "And what about you, Potter? Are you a good dude?"

He puffed up his cheeks and blew out his breath slowly, thinking. "I think so," he said after a moment. "I'm trying, you know? I'm not perfect, but I'm trying. I know I fucked up, but I wasn't kidding when I said I think you're amazing. There's something here, and I think you feel it, too. I don't want to let that go."

Lily felt the truth of his words deep in her core. As angry as she'd been at him, the spark between them had never truly burnt out. And she didn't want it to. She swallowed hard.

James smiled crookedly. "Just think about it, okay? Now, c'mon. You didn't come here to hang out in the kitchen with me all right. Let's find your friends."

He raised his eyebrows in a hopeful question and held out a hand to her. She smiled and grabbed it, letting him lead as they wound their way through the crowd to where their friends were congregating by a large fireplace.

The countdown had just begun as they arrived, but Remus and Sirius were already holding each other, swaying in place and exchanging little kisses. Frank had his arm around the shoulders of his wife, Alice, a pretty woman with brown hair and a wide smile. They were loudly counting backward from ten, Frank waving his free arm like he was conducting an orchestra. Mary was laughing with a tall, bearded guy with warm brown eyes – Benjy, Lily presumed. Rat-faced Peter was nowhere to be seen.

And James was still holding Lily's hand.

It was perfect.

The countdown reached one and the room burst into cheers and shouts of "Happy new year!"

Lily looked up into James' face and once again, her breath caught in her throat. The look he was giving her was so intense, she felt more than sparks, it was a raging fire, and –

"Kiss me," she gasped.

And his smile before he did—Lily thought if she could just capture that look and store it in her mind, always, she might start believing in fairy tales after all.

People were cheering and tooting horns, and Lily distantly heard at least two champagne corks pop. But she didn't care. James' hands on her face and his lips on hers were the only things in the world. She closed her eyes and clutched the front of his shirt in both hands and thought she might melt into him, their bodies fused by the heat between them.

They finally broke apart, and James let his fingers slide gently down Lily's cheeks and dropped his forehead to hers. "So," he whispered, "will you let me?"

"Let you what?" she whispered back.

"Earn your trust. Prove I'm a good dude. Do this right."

Lily sucked in a shaky breath. "You're right about whatever this is, between us. And I don't want to let it go, either." She looked up at him shyly and nodded. "Let's do this."

"Whew." James smiled a lopsided smile, then leaned in to kiss her again, softly this time. "Happy new year, Lily Evans. _Mi leona_. Here's to new beginnings."

…

AN: That's it! Thank you so much for reading! This was my first AU and I worked really hard on it, so I hope you enjoyed it. But whatever you thought, please leave comments, kudos, and feedback – if you loved it, I wanna know, whether with real words, emojis, or a keyboard smash, or if you have thoughts about the story structure, pacing, or dialogue, I'd love to hear them!

And whether you feel like commenting or not, my sincerest thanks for joining me on this journey! I truly cannot express how much I appreciate y'all! xo, Veronica (MagicGirl)


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